Dreams of youth nurture immortality

"I'm right here and you're looking right through me, and if I fall down u will walk right past me. Your heart is simply not there or maybe it's just me acting scared. But I see your eyes, used to shine like the sunrise, now are sad and dry, not having cried for some time. Hate is as good a feeling as any other, for it makes u alive... Hate is not what I fear. Indiference is the most painful. To know I don't exist anymore, I don't evoke the slightest reaction in your heart, I feel buried alive. No hope for me, these are my dieing breaths, I feel life draining from my body, if only... If only you would give me a sign, a little ray of light to pierce the darkness of my early grave, to hear your heart beat... If you do love me, it's all I ask for, immortality, for even if I die, no matter what horrible young death, I made with you something so great that death itself cannot destroy... True love"

Blah...

M-am plictisit, as putea sa ma inscriu la campionatul national de frecat menta, as lua platina direct, in organizatie sunt de mult inscrisa sau m-am nascut inscrisa. Am frecat menta puternic cu acest blog, dar de ce sa o mai fac, nu credeam ca o sa vina ziua, cand si de frecat menta ma plictisesc... Oricum plictiseala ma face sa inteleg ca viata nu e degeaba, doar orice altceva in afara de privitu plictisit cum trece(viata) pe langa tine e degeaba. Deci, subscriu celor mai inteligenti ca mine, care au realizat ca pierderea timpului nu e o pierdere, reprezinta doar evolutie. Sunt fericita ca am contribuit cu aceste materiale, "valoroase prin inutilitatea lor". Am ajuns insa la un moment unde lenea si nepasarea au preluat controlul, m-am plictisit de aceleasi locuri, aceeasi persoana, aceleasi filme obosite, pur si simplu nu-mi mai arde. Sentimentul in momentul de fata, este cel mai smecher, pentru ca nu exista, nu ma mai misca nimic, ma lasa rece, si nici macar... Oricum, tin sa mentionez o observatie, limba romana este facuta pentru frecat menta, aberat si batut campii, asa ca de ce sa nu o valorificam la maxim facand exact asta. Cea mai buna metoda e aratand cu degetul spre vecin si razand tinandu-ne cu mainile de burta, pentru ca el cu siguranta o sa foloseasca argumente, comentarii acide si altele pentru a-si demonstra intelectul superior, abilitatea de a freca menta mai bine si nepasarea mai accentuata, moment in care poti spune scurt si la obiect "s..gi p..la"(indiferent de sex, rasa sau orientare sexuala, proprie sau a interlocutorului). In concluzie, nu exista nici o concluzie, doar vroiam sa ard gazul si internetul imi permite sa impart aceasta minunata experienta cu lumea.

Think twice, be nice

I'd like to think that we are all born nice, I know, I should say good or something else entirely, but nice is just so much nicer:)... As I have said before I'm the kind of person that speaks their mind, often before thinking it through, luckily, I'm usually nice and kind... Unfortunately, there are rare occasions when I'm just plain awful, or worse, keep everything bottled up until I explode in a chaotic mess, which very few people understand or tolerate...

The point is, while striving to be nice, we should find a way to express bad thoughts in a nicer, more "user-friendly" way, we shouldn't avoid saying it entirely and fuel our frustrations.

Honesty may be the best policy, but even truth can be sugarcoated sometimes, and sometimes people consider it much nicer to refrain from exposing certain hurtful truths. I for one would have been a much happier camper, were it not for certain pieces of information, so sometimes ignorance IS bliss; and if u can't sleep at night because of things unsaid, well you should have thought twice before doing them in the first place, confessing will only produce an additional insomniac that will most likely hold a grudge against you.

Unfortunately, there is no perfect formula, no secret combination for perfect communication, and sometimes the truth does set you free, sometimes it just traps you inside your own head, forcing you to review it over and over again.

Generally, being nice is just acknowledging that you are not alone in the world(unless you want to be) and realizing that others have feelings too.

The one, and only

When u find the one u love, it's like family, u don't get to pick and choose, u might not have the same opinions, or get along perfectly but you know u can't help but love them. It's unconditional, and by all means it lasts forever. Even if u don't speak to each other, even if anger steps in... The problem, in the end is not love, but all the other stuff that gets in the way, and only the truly intelligent and blessed realize that anything other than love is merely trivial and unimportant, they are the only ones that can be truly happy...

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me...

I don't really believe anything until I see it with my own two eyes, or until I understand the principle behind it. The proof of the pudding is in the eating, which means, to fully test something, you need to experience it yourself, firsthand. People can say or do anything in regards to you, what matters most is what you believe and the means by which you analyze other people's actions.

Chickens chase butterflies, a monkey will never be enough

Ever have the feeling, no matter how much you try, no matter what you do, you're just not good enough? News flash, nobody is ever good enough, because nobody is perfect, all that really matters is our preconceptions and what we are willing to overlook.

That's the problem with love, it's blind and deaf and dumb and most of the time misdirected.

So many faults are overlooked because of love, but also qualities in others close to us, maybe it's because opposites attract and two people that are both kind, loving and considerate could not be together.

There are so many variables in life, but there is one clear choice, leave it to chance or take it in your own hands and do whatever you can to get what you want. The only problem with this theory is that very few people know what they want.

Even these lines which I am writing now might be misconstrued, that's just human nature, bad stuff is easier to believe than good stuff. If you hear a rumor that someone loves you, you don't believe it, or you ignore it for being too good to be true, but if you hear someone is cheating or does not love you anymore you immediately give it credit.

I refuse to do this, I refuse to believe the bad over the good, man is the sum of his actions, not just one taken out of context. Everyone has good inside them, beauty, you just have to have the power to see it, and nourish it, so it shines through.

Confessions of a broken soul...

You never quite know when the end is coming, or if it truly is the last one, and it isn't followed by a rebirth of the same relationship. I've always believed that if u love something, let it go, but I never understood the coming back part. I thought that as long as I love him, his happiness should be number one, and then I would be happy. But it doen't quite work that way, people need their freedom, but also boundaries, if not, they do what they think makes them happy, they step all over you, your heart, because they know u can take it. Then comes regret, but a simple sorry just ain't gonna cut it to heal a broken heart. You have to do something, to prove yourself, that kind of trust just doesn't grow on trees.
Everybody says they know what happens after a breakup, that u go through different stages, the truth is, no one knows, each broken heart's pain is unique and worse, each in it's own way...

Happy beyond belief

I never thought life could be so full of emotion...
"You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be, and I don't wanna leave here right now"
Lyrics by The Goo Goo Dolls, I feel exactly that right now, I think life would be nothing without love, and it's definitely better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I've learned that u can't avoid love, and it's much better to face it full on and let it take you over, with the risk of getting hurt, no matter how bad the pain is, it can't erase those moments of absolute magic and crazy chemistry... Pain is better than regret every day of the week and twice on sundays:)

Solutii...???...de fapt o pasa pesimista

Chestiile cel mai usor de facut sunt de multe ori cele mai urate, asa cum vorbele urate sunt de multe ori mai credibile decat cele frumoase.

Personal, mi-am dat seama ca am un dar extraordinar de a indeparta oamenii de mine spunand chestii in prostie pentru a ma elibera eu de ele. Dar atunci cand ai o pasa proasta si spui tot ce ai pe suflet in cel mai negativ mod posibil, daca treci peste a doua zi, tocmai pt ca te-ai eliberat vorbind, iti vei pierde credibilitatea. Si e si normal, doar ca ceea ce oamenii in general nu inteleg, este ca nu exista adevar sau minciuna, exista vorbe spuse din diverse motive, cu diverse nuante, pe care conteaza cel mai mult daca cel care le spune le crede; lucru mult mai greu de aflat si de demonstrat decat adevarul sau minciuna. Ce ramane de facut? Cautarea altor eliberari decat in fata oamenilor, in special celor apropiati... nu e bine sa ascunzi sentimentele, dar cand ele se schimba din trei in trei secunde nu e bine sa impartasesti confuzia, pentru ca nu vei face decat sa o raspandesti. Cea mai buna cale de eliberare probabil e psihiatru, un om care e platit sa te asculte, vrea nu vrea te asculta iar si iar si uneori incearca sa iti ofere solutii, sau te ajuta sa tragi concluzii. Din pacate si ei sunt tot oameni si nici ei nu pot oferii solutii, doar o alta forma mascata de ambiguitate, si speranta ca maine vei primi mai multe raspunsuri.

"Think to yourself that every day is your last; the hour to which you do not look forward will come as a welcome surprise." Horace

P.S. Faptul ca am scris in titlu o "pasa" vrea sa zica,(virgula) ca eu nu sunt in stare decat in scris sau verbal sa exprim pesimism, in capul meu intotdeauna exista speranta si niciodata nu cred decat in mai bine, oricat de rau m-as simti sau orice s-ar intampla, chestie care uneori ma sperie si simt nevoia sa ma exprim negativ(sa-mi plang de mila fara motiv). Poate pentru asta sunt compulsive liar, ca nici cand exprim gandurile negative nu le cred, dar simt nevoia grav ca altii sa creada ca e asa. Un prieten mi-a spus ca optimismul meu o sa dispara cand o sa mi se intample ceva foarte foarte nasol si probabil asa e, dar pana atunci nu ma pot schimba, voluntar sau nu.

Summer

There are two sides to every story

Everyone, including yours truly, should stop playing the blame game and start understanding that sh.. happens and feelings sometimes cannot be controlled. And I'm not just talking about blaming others, i have too often blamed myself and felt guilty for things that were not only my fault. Life's too short to waste it pointing fingers, if something happens, try to fix it, in the nicest way possible, don't look for scape goats or wallow in self-hate.

Aberatii vol. 1

If u know me, please don't read this, or at least refrain from laughing your ass off:)).

I write stuff, don't know exactly what it is, poetry, stories, whatever, I like to call it pure fiction.

The words sometimes just come pouring out or I have a very strange dream that I just have to put down on paper... Anyway, here are certain parts of some of my "works":)), let me know if u wanna read more or if I should just put a stop to this sillyness

P.S. This is the first time I show anyone this stuff, so be gentle:)

Into eternity

[…] “Slowly you twist a knife into my chest 

As your love twisted it’s way into my heart 

Death comes slowly, painfully

Unlike the love you gave to me 

Which was swift and lovely 

Tears dripping down your face 

Blood dripping from my chest 

Your hands are red 

And yet they hold me 

As on any other day 

You squeeze me tight 

And kiss my lips I feel I cannot breathe 

My life is over Yours just began in torment 

You don’t deny, you love me so 

From here onto infinity

From now into eternity”[…]

Selfish love

"[...]If I cannot, no one can have you 

If I can’t see you, you won’t be seen 

If I can’t touch you, you won’t be touched 

If u can’t love me, your love forever will be lost If u can’t kiss me, your lips won’t touch another pair

If u can leave me, then life shall leave you 

If I won’t hear your pretty voice, u will not speak again[...]"

This is their story

"This is their story, how their spirits united and formed one being so divine, and yet so lustful, so merciful and yet so full of hate, so loved and yet so lonely…

The birth of man came not from only one place, it represents the perfect merge of heaven, hell, right here on earth.

Her skin so soft and pale as alabaster, her eyes more blue than any sky or sea, her hair as golden as the sun. So innocent and precious, she was an angel. Of all the planets in the universe, only one was in her heart, Earth. She saw herself, in the blue skies, oceans, flowers, beauty, life. Her name was Eve, but then came Adam, he loved the planet too…the wrath of nature unleashed for him to see. Adam, a devil, with eyes like fire, wandering the universe lonely and lustfull in search for one who would complete him… 

When his eyes fall upon her for just a moment, the devil fell in love. Not even he could resist her beauty, grace and innocence. She by nature, loved all living things, but this was much more overwhelming… she felt his firey eyes pierce their way into her chest, into her heart. A fire deep within she felt, that would consume her if he would leave her side. Everyday they would come closer and closer together, feeling eachother, loving eachother more and more. Until one day when it became clear that everything was changing, they were changing, into eachother.

Merging unwillfully into one being, the fruit of their love, man[...]"

Shut your pie hole:))

"If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut."
Albert Einstein

This is something I probably have a problem with, keeping my mouth shut, I usually speak my mind even though sometimes I feel I give out a bit too much information. Anyway, I always say, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all...

Head In The Clouds

Poza facuta de 1 Mai din Herastrau...and then came the rain...

I'm kind of an optimist, and despite the fact that I try to find logic in everything, I still believe in fairytales. People should really understand that they can do anything, just with the power of their minds, especially the subconcious. I am sometimes superstitious, but not because i believe there is a higher power watching and judging me, but because of the power of the subconcious mind which i believe sometimes makes us do things not rationally decided. I never read the horoscope(because even though it's just silly mumbo-jumbo, my subconcious records it and it affects my behaviour), and sometimes I pray even though I don't believe in Church, just because it somehow gives me peace of mind and helps me calm down.

On my religious views, I am not an atheist, I do believe in a higher power, I do believe in the somewhat worshiping of a God, an act of selflesness acknowledging the greater importance and power of something over you, doing this makes you feel like a better person, therefore charging you with positive energy.

I also tend to trust people, I try not to be paranoid I think it's better to offer trust unconditionally even if u get burned:) "It's better to have loved and lost than  never to have loved at all". I'm reffering here also to friends and family, not just romantic relationships.

Oh, and of course I am a drama queen:))

Socially Challenged

I like people, but only a select few, the rest, I don't really care about. I have a pretty nice life, I mean I have almost everything I want right now, great family, great friends and I would say, quite a bright future ahead of me:)).

Unfortunately, I have discovered(through my latest "career" exploits) that my earlier suspicions in life are well founded... I don't enjoy socializing:). I mean it's ok, if I have to I can do it, but I'd rather not, most of the time I just like to be alone, play a videogame, or write ridiculous stuff on my blog that the few friends that I have will make fun of:)).

Full Moon

I can't sleep...I like to blame the full moon, but it's really me, I can't stop thinking how precious time is and what a waste sleeping seems sometimes, when u have lots to do, people to see places to go and trying lo leave something behind in this world. Don't get me wrong I understand the need for sleep and all these other phisycal needs we as humans have, but I can't help but wonder how much more we could acomplish if less time was wasted.

More about me

I don't take myself too seriously, no one should, and God knows how much fun my friends will make about me writing this blog, but I promised myself to try and exteriorise my thoughts a little bit more in order for them not to overwhelm me. In other words this blog is like an outlet for me and I plan on staying as anonymous as possible.

I love Einstein, and yes, I am talking about the genius german born theoretical physicist, although I do not claim to understand even a tiny fragment of his life's work in the field of phisics, I have always been fascinated by the power of the mind and smart people, and reading his views on life opened up my mind and influenced my personality greatly.

I would like to add a paragraph from Einstein's "The World As I See It"(also where I got the title for the blog), I believe it's something everyone should at least read:
"The fairest thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science. He who knows it not and can no longer wonder, no longer feel amazement, is as good as dead, a snuffed-out candle. It was the experience of mystery--even if mixed with fear--that engendered religion. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, of the manifestations of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which are only accessible to our reason in their most elementary forms--it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute the truly religious attitude; in this sense, and in this alone, I am a deeply religious man. I cannot conceive of a God who rewards and punishes his creatures, or has a will of the type of which we are conscious in ourselves. An individual who should survive his physical death is also beyond my comprehension, nor do I wish it otherwise; such notions are for the fears or absurd egoism of feeble souls. Enough for me the mystery of the eternity of life, and the inkling of the marvellous structure of reality, together with the single-hearted endeavour to comprehend a portion, be it never so tiny, of the reason that manifests itself in nature."

Hmmmm....

I read, I write, I doodle, I draw, I even paint from time to time, I'm not here to brag, merely to try and showcase part of my creativity, a trait I believe everyone has, it's just that most people ignore it or don't have time to express it... Oh, and I love taking pictures and making them my own, because to me everything is either extremely colourfull or black and white, I believe that art is in the extremes, and life is always somewhere in the middle.

I prefer writing my posts in english, because i find it easier to express myself this way, but some words are better said in other languages so I won't limit my blog to english.

Ignorance may be bliss but knowledge is power, and power will get you much further than money...